How Many Children Did He or She Leave Behind? When Voluntary Childlessness Is Not an Option

One of the first questions many Akans ask when news breaks of a person's death is: "How many children did he or she leave behind?"

To outsiders, this may seem like a routine inquiry. Among the Akans of Ghana, however, the question carries profound cultural significance. It reflects a deeply rooted belief that one of the most important achievements of adulthood is the production and raising of children.

Indeed, in Akan society, having children is not merely a personal choice. It is widely regarded as a cultural obligation and a social expectation. Voluntary childlessness is frowned upon, considered undesirable, and is virtually unknown in traditional Akan communities. While love, companionship, mutual support, and emotional intimacy are valued in marriage, the primary purpose of marriage has traditionally been the bearing and raising of children.

The Pronatalist Tradition

Akan society is strongly pronatalist. Childbearing is encouraged, celebrated, and expected. Traditionally, married couples continue having children throughout their reproductive years. A woman is expected to bear children until menopause naturally brings her childbearing years to an end.

This cultural expectation is reflected in Akan sayings. One proverb-like expression states:

"Mawo mabre, yɛkyi" — literally, "It is taboo to say you are tired of giving birth."

Another saying declares:

"Awo sɛ wo na sɛ woanwo a, yɛkyi" — "If you are of reproductive age and do not produce children, that is taboo."

These expressions underscore the high value traditionally placed on reproduction and parenthood.

The Question Asked at Death

The importance attached to children becomes especially evident when a person dies.

Family members, friends, neighbors, and mourners often want to know how many children the deceased left behind. The answer serves as a measure, not only of family continuity, but also of the deceased's social legacy.

An answer of zero children is likely to generate surprise, concern, and even disbelief. Having one or two children is generally acceptable, but may still be viewed as less than ideal. Larger numbers—four, six, eight, or ten children—are often regarded as evidence of a fulfilled and successful family life.

The underlying sentiment is simple: when it comes to children, more is generally considered better than fewer.

Children and Funeral Responsibilities

The cultural importance of children extends beyond life into death.

Traditionally, children are expected to contribute substantially toward the funeral expenses of their deceased parents, including the purchase of the casket. When a person dies without children, this responsibility falls upon the abusua (matrilineal extended family).

Many family members regard this as an additional burden that could have been avoided had the deceased left behind children. By contrast, when there are several children, funeral expenses can be shared among them, reducing the financial burden on any one individual.

Thus, children are valued not only as descendants and heirs but also as important contributors to funeral obligations.

The Stigma of Dying Childless

Among the Akans, dying without ever having had a child carries a particularly strong stigma.

There is an important distinction between being childless and losing a child. A person who gave birth to children who later died may be viewed with sympathy because they fulfilled their reproductive obligation, even though tragedy intervened. However, a person who reaches the end of life without ever having produced a child is often viewed much more negatively.

Traditionally, childlessness has been regarded as a serious social deficiency, one that deprives an individual of an important marker of adulthood and social accomplishment.

Postmortem Sanctions

Historically, some Akan communities imposed symbolic postmortem sanctions on individuals who died without children.

These ritualized acts were intended to communicate society's disapproval of permanent childlessness. The accompanying message was clear: should the deceased be reincarnated, they should not return to the world without fulfilling the culturally expected role of parenthood.

Such practices reflected the belief that reproduction was not merely a personal matter but a responsibility owed to one's lineage, family, and community.

Children as a Measure of Legacy

The Akan emphasis on children reveals a broader understanding of what constitutes a meaningful life. In a society where lineage continuity, inheritance, family support, and ancestral remembrance are highly valued, children represent far more than biological offspring. They symbolize continuity, social success, family prestige, and immortality through future generations.

It is therefore not surprising that when an Akan dies, one of the first questions people ask is not what wealth the person accumulated, what position they held, or what possessions they owned. Instead, the enduring question remains:

"How many children did he or she leave behind?"